What Heals Us
Happy May! It's Mental Health Awareness Month. I thought I should write about healing during these unprecedented and uncertain times. As an integrative wellness coach, I firmly believe that all things, situations, and people can and do heal when healing is desired. I also acknowledge that people heal differently, and not everyone heals similarly. That said, I will talk about a few common healers and how you can use them if you are open to healing.
Time: There is a common belief that "time heals all wounds" or "it will get better with time." This is not necessarily true. Time is only a healer if someone desires to heal with time. Think about it… someone can choose to stay hurt and angry for a lifetime. They can contemplate that missed opportunity and never get over it. We have all met folks with their long list of shoulda-coulda-woulda's. Time has not healed them. Many parents who have broken relationships with their children are told, "Just give him time; he will come around," and that is not necessarily true. They might, and they might not. Healing is a choice. Time can heal only if you want time to heal. Time can serve as a healer. If you desire to love again after a divorce or to "get back out there" after losing a great opportunity, then time will assist in the healing process because you are choosing to move toward healing. Time is now used as an opportunity to regain confidence, trust, and strength, and you get back out there! Again, time can be your healer and not necessarily someone else's. Still, time can heal wounds and relationships.
Community: B. Well offers group coaching, which is my favorite because many people heal with others. I have seen the miracles that occur in a community. Humans are communal people. We survive and thrive in groups. We can also heal in groups. Many folks join churches, attend retreats, or enroll in 12-step programs because there is healing when we know we are not alone. There is something quite refreshing about knowing "I'm not the only one." Often, supporting others allows us to heal, too. A mother who struggled with a colicky baby might have had a rough time that included sleepless nights and unkind thoughts about her baby, followed by guilt for even thinking those things. Years later, she might find purpose in her experience when she can support a new mom who is experiencing and thinking the same things. She knows the compassion and support the new mom needs. She might even be able to offer a few tricks to help soothe the baby. This type of healing is unique to community, and it's beautiful for all involved.
Silence: "I really need to be alone right now." We hear these words from those who heal in silence, stillness, and solitude. Many people are afraid to be alone; they avoid being with themselves because they are scared of themselves. We can't find peace within ourselves by avoiding facing our inner world. We'll always be insecure, stressed, and depressed. That's why, no matter how painful coming in contact with our deeper selves might be, we should gather the courage to look within. Then, our lives will be transformed in an incredibly positive way. Sofo Archon offers some ways spending time alone will make your life better:
You'll feel unburdened from toxic, repressed emotions.
You'll be more in tune with your emotional world.
You'll better understand yourself.
You'll make friends with your past.
You'll be more mindful of the present moment.
You'll be able to make more conscious choices.
You'll overcome feelings of loneliness.
You'll be less stressed and feel calm.
You'll feel less afraid and be stronger.
You'll be more honest with yourself and others.
You'll find more peace with yourself and the world.
Music: One of our five basic senses is hearing. Sound waves heal. Most of us use music to generate an emotional state we want to experience. When we want to feel romantic, we play music that generates those feelings. We use music to be inspired, wallow in our sadness, or offer praise. Singing helps many of us soothe our souls. Sound is included in every religious practice, whether singing, chanting, playing a gong, or singing bowls. What people say sometimes hurts us; however, what we hear can heal us.
Rest: "Go lay down, and then you'll feel better." Rest is prescribed for healing all the time. Doctors even prescribe it. "Get some rest" is an actual prescription. It heals our bodies, minds, and souls. When was the last time you gave your body permission to rest? Rest and sleep are not the same thing. Many of us sleep every night but are not rested. Rest is "ceasing work or movement to relax, refresh oneself, or recover strength." Make time for rest. Yes, your nap is healing you.
Movement: Physical activity heals. Running clears my mind, lifts my spirit, and benefits my body (as long as I don't go too hard on my knees). I am looking forward to my run today because I will be running 2.23 miles with thousands of others on behalf of Ahmaud Arbery, the young Black American who was murdered for running through a neighborhood. I know running isn't for everyone, but movement is still a healer. Many find healing in dance, workouts, organized sports, or a good "shout" across the church. Moving our bodies assists in all forms of healing. Today's run for me will be spiritual, mental, emotional, physical, and political. Join me. #irunwithMaud
Food: Food has always been used for medicinal or healing purposes. Most of us know that a cup of hot tea can aid with a sore throat or that a bowl of chicken soup can help a person feel better. But these are not the only foods that can be helpful. Just like fruits and veggies can aid in healing our bodies from illness, food can also help heal our minds and hearts. Just like we understand that large doses of sugar change our brainwaves, eating well increases our attention span, sex drive, and longevity. Please know ice cream is a healer, too! After a hard day or an unexpected breakup, a bowl of ice cream is a reminder that life can still be sweet, and that's healing, too.
Fasting: I can't believe I am writing this because I wouldn't say I like fasting (feeling hungry is not a healer for me), but I have heard from several folks that fasting is a healer. Most people explore fasting for spiritual reasons, but it also has mental and emotional benefits. Fasting is a cleanser for the body, mind, and spirit. Benjamin Franklin said, "To lengthen thy life, lessen thy meals." Allan Cott added, "The very act of eating can be exhausting; it takes a lot of energy to digest food. When the body is free from that chore, it naturally feels lighter and much more vibrant." I realize that fasting is not just about food. Fasting is an intentional abstinence that allows for cleansing; thus, one can fast from porn, alcohol, people, or situations. Whatever makes you flow better.
Touch: Physical touch is healing. Often, this healing is sexual. Ask Marvin, he will tell you. He said, "Makes me feel so fine; it's such a rush. Helps to relieve the mind, and it's good for us." See? There is mental and emotional healing found in touch. Often, we don't talk about touch as a healer because so many of our traumas occur at a physical level; thus, healing those body traumas through touch is sensible. Touch matters. Many churches "touch and agree" on spiritual concepts or "lay hands" on folks who need mental and emotional support because touch provides something extra. So, the next time you hug someone, know that your hug could be healing. So hug them tight and hold on a little longer.
I could keep going, but you get the point: healing is available in various forms. You can and should use whatever you need to heal yourself. You do not have to be healed by things that heal others. Fasting is not a healing experience for me, but running is. Someone else might dislike running but find a lot of healing in music. Your healing is your process. Your healing is your responsibility. How will you commit to your healing today? If you need support in your healing process, B. Well is here to assist you.
Keep healing,
Dr. Adrianne R. Pinkney
Integrative Wellness and Life Coach
P.S. I made some carrot-apple-cucumber-ginger-orange-celery juice, and it was so healing that I had to put my pinky up!
