Dr. Pinkney is having a baby….well two.
A Message from the Founder
I am thrilled to announce that I am finally pregnant! I have wanted to be a mother for years, and my partner and I put a lot of prayer, time and resources into making this a reality for our family. As someone who has wanted to experience motherhood for years, I have imagined what it would be like to be pregnant. After making it through the first trimester, I have learned so many lessons, many of which make me laugh at my former fantasy-having-self. Here are a few of the lessons that I thought you might enjoy.
Trust the process. It’s not up to you.
We actively tried to get pregnant. We visited doctors, used calendars, and finished every love-making session with me propping a pillow under my butt, putting my feet up to the ceiling, and saying, “Don’t touch me. Leave me here for 15 minutes.” Every month it didn’t happen, I was a little discouraged. We had to start all over again. After all of our active effort, when I finally discovered I was pregnant, I couldn’t help but wonder, “When did it happen?” Although I have a pretty good guess about when it all “came together” (pun intended), I really can’t pinpoint the exact moment everything clicked. There is something that was beyond me, beyond him, and beyond us and all of our effort that set everything in motion for life to form in my womb...and we really had very little to do with that. Now that I am pregnant, there is little, to nothing for me to do but wait for my body to do what it is already designed to do. It’s a miracle really. So much effort in the beginning, but now that things are set in motion, it all flows without much conscious effort from me. I am not in control of what happens from here...funny thing is, I actually had little control over what was happening this entire time. As I look back over my life, I now realize that there were several times that I put so much effort into things I wanted, and things I thought I could will into my life, when really it all came down to a moment where everything just clicked...and it all just naturally flowed from there.
2. Sometimes you get a little extra.
There are times in life that we ask God for something, and sometimes God gives us that and a little bit more. We ask for a promotion, and we get a big promotion. We ask God for a good partner, and we get an amazing partner. In our case, we asked God for one little miracle, and we got two! We are having twins! Yep. Not one baby...two whole babies. For years, I had fantasized about what it would be like when I got preggers and had my first child. My vision was so cute: it involved a cute little baby bump, a home birth, lots of dainty little baby things, etc… I never imagined being a mom to multiples. Honestly, it still blows my mind. The thought is so overwhelming. I’ve never even had one baby, and now I’m having TWO?! God had something else in mind for us. It’s amazing that when you get what you asked for, and a little more, it can be scary (yep, I’m freaking out just a little bit). It’s like when the guy or girl you really like, likes you too, and even though you’re excited, it’s a whole lot to take in. I feel like that quite a bit: amazed, excited, and terrified, all at once! I am learning to trust my assignment. I have been assigned to parent these two little angel-babies who are going to begin their spiritual journey with me as their primary source of mothering. I’m honored...and I’m officially outnumbered.
3. I am not in control of my body.
That sentence was very hard to write. As a self-declared athlete, I am constantly pushing my body and telling it what to do. My legs might be burning, but I decide to run one more lap, and I do. My body can be tired, but if I am determined to finish a project, I pour a cup of coffee and finish it that night. Since I am pregnant, all of that is over. I have had terrible morning sickness and it immediately changed everything. I could not eat what I wanted to eat. I could not even will myself to eat things the babies didn’t like (they didn’t like any vegetables for two months and I learned to stop forcing it cause they would kick them out of my system every-single-time…). If I didn’t like the smell of something, I just couldn’t be around it. I had to excuse myself from several places for this reason. If my body needed rest, I would just fall asleep. I had a sleepover with my friends, Jordan and Crystal, and we decided to stay up and watch Saturday Night Live after Biden won the election. We were pumped because we just knew it would be hilarious. I politely announced I was going to “close my eyes” for a few minutes at about 9:30 PM. I woke up the next morning and had missed the entire show, not to mention the entire slumber party. I felt so bad and I apologized for being a party-pooper. My friends kept reminding me, “Adrianne, you’re pregnant, you don’t have to apologize.” Through this journey, I am learning not to apologize for my body. One day I had hiccups for 30 whole minutes. For the first 10-hiccups, I excused myself, but then I realized that I would probably be saying, “Excuse me” all night. I’m learning not to apologize for my body and what it needs to do to make these babies. For three weeks, my morning sickness was so bad, I could barely stand up without being sick. During this time, I had to meet all my virtual clients while I was literally laying down holding the phone over my face. Everyone was so kind and gracious. When I think about it, I cry. I have the best clients. Thanks for being so kind to me while I am on this journey.
4. The truth about “accommodations.”
I have the littlest baby-bump. If you saw me, you probably wouldn’t know I am pregnant (everyone is telling me that will change soon enough). This was even more so the case in the first trimester. Because most people could not see that I was pregnant, I was not accommodated. For example, if a pregnant lady is in line to use the bathroom, all other ladies will let her skip the line to go first (it’s a girl code); right now, if I were in the line, no one would let me skip even though one of these twins has decided to settle on my bladder. During my sleepover with my girlfriends, we went shopping in little 5-points in Atlanta. We stumbled upon a cute little African shop, and decided to purchase some waist beads. Upon entering the shop, I started to feel a little dizzy and I really needed to sit down. I immediately noticed that there was nowhere to sit. I thought, “What kind of place doesn’t have one chair available for a customer who needs to sit down?” and I realized how much I’ve never noticed stuff like that before. I had about 15-seconds before I was going to have a complete meltdown, so I decided to pop a squat on the floor. I just sat in the middle of the store. The store owner walked by me and gave me a curious look. I just smiled and settled into my spot until the quizziness stopped. I wanted to tell her, “Look chick, I’m pregnant and I need to sit down. Can you get me a chair?” But then I felt that my baby bump was too small to be believable (I know, I know, crazy right?!), so I just sat. A few days later, I told my friend Ashli about what happened and she said, “That’s exactly what it’s like for people who have disabilities that people can’t see.” Her comment blew me away. She was right! Being pregnant has changed the way I see the world. I am hyper-aware of easy access parking, location of bathrooms, access to water, available seating, even the location of trash cans. Last week, a good friend gave me a big bear hug to say goodbye and I screamed! He looked confused, “Are you okay?” I didn’t really want to explain that my boobs hurt so bad that when the wind blows too hard I could just cry and he’d damn near popped me. I didn’t have it in me to explain myself...and I wondered how many people live that moment several times a day.
Actually, I’ve learned many things: I’ve learned that as much as I appreciate advice, everyone’s experience is unique and no one can really tell me anything about my pregnancy. I’ve learned to let my partner help me a lot, even if that means asking him to bring me things that are just beyond arm’s reach. I am learning to be patient with myself and with the process (this is a lesson life is constantly teaching me...one day at a time). I am learning that so many people are excited about our little angel babies and are praying with us. I’ve learned as much as I love my clients, they love me too. My heart is full. So is my belly.
Keep sending love and light. Thanks for supporting me on my new journey. If you need support on yours, B. Well is here. Now I’ve gotta go to the bathroom...
Your coach,
Dr. Adrianne R. Pinkney… and the twins
Integrative Wellness & Life Coach
